Dennisis 01: 05 - They say God created the universe and everything within 5
days and on the 6th day, He thought about giving more meaning to His
creations. He meticulously drafted the designs on His iPad and lo and behold,
before we knew it, He conjured out of nowhere the most elegant and magnificent
creation ever to be made – The IRFR Team.
The IRFR
team ineluctably consisted of not 1 but 3 Adams – namely Sajjad Uncle, oops we meant Sajjad Omer, Raghu Romeo and Philip the
High Priest with a sealed lip. You wouldn’t be surprised that even though
there wasn’t any Eve, the team still evolved. All we can say now is – “Praise
be to the Lord”.
Sajjad can
yawn even with his mouth closed, something that he has developed after his
marriage and also attending a whole lot of trainings. Raghu can spew venom for
unfinished work but also make it up by an innocent smile with equal ease. He
has a very charming smile, but of late it seems to be attracting more guys than
girls, which is why he is still single.
Today the
IRFR team celebrates 5 illustrious years and it wouldn’t have been the same had
it not been for the new members – read as babies – that followed.
Bhavana was the new born
baby was added on 2nd July 2007. Well, in a couple of months she
would turn 5 years old, but the real suspense is that she has a child who is 11
years old. How that is possible still remains a mystery. She also enjoys
cooking and the biggest mistake someone can make is to praise her for her
cooking. She will just keep getting new recipes and experiment them on you.
Sandeep Lad (Sandy) was next
and has been on his feet and has been running since the day he was born. He
never really wanted to run but was left with no options after the cops showed
up at his doorstep. India is my country and all Indians are my brothers and sisters;
this is something that we have been taught but he takes the sisters part rather
too seriously. In fact we are grateful to people like him as they leave us with
more single girls to choose from.
Uma was the next to join
and laughs at everything even when she’s alone. We still haven’t figured out
what it is that she finds funny about everything, even something as serious as
this article. In fact she even laughed when we told her that laughing-stock is
referred to cattle with a sense of humor.
JP who joined later was the self-proclaimed
father of all the kids. He really enjoyed beating and punishing us for any work
that we didn’t do as per his strict rules, ignoring the fact that we were
already doing child labor. However, the most unforgivable act that he did was
to ditch his own kids for some other people. We don’t know what he really saw there
but we sincerely hope it’s not what we think it is. After all, he’s supposedly
on the prowl for a bride.
Kevin followed soon and
has never missed an opportunity to make sarcastic remarks. He can live on
sarcasms for breakfast, cricket for lunch and Tamil movies for dinner. He doesn’t
seem to need a girl in life as he is already looks happily married to his work
and is very committed in this relationship. We are eagerly looking forward to seeing
his babies coming out of the Xerox machines.
Sarah baby was born on 9th
June 2008 and has been missing or on leaves ever since. She always tries to go
that extra mile at work, but her boss always finds her and gets her back.
Hashim was born next and
has been on a strict diet ever since. He weighed only about a few tons when he
was born. In fact when he last stepped on a weighing scale, one of our teammate’s
ten-digit phone number appeared. He is the sole reason for famines all over the
world. He inspires even Rajnikant and Chuck Norris by his acts. It seems he
once coached the Indian Cricket Team and they went on to win the FIFA world
cup. They say he lost his wallet recently, and what followed was the recession.
Swetha came in next and happens
to be just as confused as beauty conscious she is. They say she even put’s lipstick
on her head just to ‘make up’ her mind. She has been sleeping ever since and
wakes up with a confused look only to go to the restroom and put on some make
up. Before she gets up let us tell you about our next baby; Basak.
Actually,
we don’t know if we can really call him a baby.
Basak is one person whose age has been misrepresented in all the
records. They say he was some thousands of years old when he was conceived. In
fact he even claims that in his days Burger King was just a prince and Big Bang
Theory was actually just a small bang. He further adds that nostalgia is not
what it used to be. He was probably born before this whole world began. He is
undoubtedly the oldest member of our team and apparently he has been around
since eternity. In fact he is the only person who can testify to all of this ‘universal
truth’. Strangely, he wasn’t on Noah’s Ark during the great floods but still
managed to survive.
Balajee was born next and
lives on one simple philosophy – A cigarette shortens your life by 2 minutes, a
beer reduces your life by 4 minutes but a working day shortens your life by 8
hours. None of us knew he used to drink until one day we saw him sober.
Smitha was the next to
follow and loves to play teacher to us. So much so that she even punishes us
for something we don’t even do – homework. She also loves watching Bollywood movies
and is a big fan of Ajay Devgn. She punishes us by making us watch his movies.
Horrible seems to be an understatement for some of these movies and they are
really worse than a 3rd degree torture. They should really pass a
law against such horrendous acts.
Neeraj joined our family
tree on 18.05.09 and is now officially a 3 year old kid, well almost. Do not
confuse him by his looks, he is still younger than most of the people around.
Aruna followed right after
but she is known as the mommy of our team. Despite her being younger to a lot
of us, she is still our mom. By now you would have figured out that our team defies
all logic, but believe you me, Neeraj along with the rest of our team still cry
and plead to her for toffees and lollipops every now and then. She also happens
to be a lecturer and takes great pleasure in lecturing us. We honestly do not
mind her lecturing us every now and then, as long as she doesn’t mind us NOT
listening.
Shruti was the next in
line, and is almost 2 years old but the funny thing is she is going to be
married shortly. She has just learned how to speak, but strangely she only
talks over the cell phone (talk about being tech savvy).
However
preposterous it may sound, you could always expect more to come as Rupa was ‘born’ next. And if child
marriages were not enough, Rupa was married even before she was ‘born’. They
say marriages are made in heaven but she really epitomizes the philosophy, as
she was probably in heaven before she was born and got married there itself.
We then
had Mithun, and considering how slim
he is, we thought we’d write something just about as much as his waistline
which is as good as nothing. Having said that, let us bring the spotlight on
the most important baby, the Alpha and the Omega, the one and only Dennis George. He claims that when he
was born, there were stars pointing towards him, and kings showering gifts and
super models surrounding him and stuff like that. Well that is what he actually
thinks about himself, but the truth is, his parents cried instead of him when
he was born and the hospital staff were eagerly looking forward to discharge
him without even bothering about the bills. There were dogs shining, stars
barking and pigs were on a high.
Surendra was the next kid on
the block and has already started conducting free private coaching classes
which he calls as social service. So what if these classes are only for girls
within a certain age group and with certain other features. Even if it’s got
nothing to do with what is taught in any established educational institution, he
feels it is his duty to perform such services. We can only wish him luck for
his noble endeavors and hope to join him soon in this noble deed.
We then
had Kiran, who merely with his
alluring charm and style has the capability to entice any woman, even someone
that doesn’t even exist. This could probably explain the rationale behind why
people marry off their children at an early age, simply before Kiran sets his
eye on anybody.
Hiranjyoti joined
us next and it seems he’s got moves better than Jagger. He has a big belly like
most of the other guys in our team and the strange thing is that even though
there are so many women in our team, it is always the guys who seem to be the
ones carrying.
Finally
we had our newest edition to the family – Venky,
whose complete name could be a whole book in itself. He was born with a mush and
is barely 3 months old now. As a matter of fact, he is still in his nappies and
before something unwanted happens let me focus on the brighter picture, which
is, a holistic and macro view of the team as a whole.
The
metamorphosis and evolution of our team would definitely give even Charles
Darwin a run for his money for his book – ‘The Origin of Species’. But having
said all that, we are all proud to be a part of this remarkable team that has matured
enough to even take jokes on ourselves. We have believed in doing things
differently and have strived towards setting benchmarks, be it at work or
through our involvement in sports and extra curricular activities. And as we
commemorate 5 glorious years of service, excellence and growth, which has been a
sensational journey by itself: we acknowledge everyone for their support and
faith.
As we
celebrate this anniversary we believe that nothing is so urgent as a thank you
and so we would also like to give a big shout out and thank you to all those
who have been a part of our team and are not with us anymore, namely – Juby, Shruti Agrawal,Vishal, Roopa, Mohsin, Vinod, Shabrinath, Astha, Sherap, Jiby, Jishad, Anamika, Mrudula, Lokesh, Rashmi, Ramya, David O’Brien,Jason Dixon,
Siobhan O’Connor, Tracey Reilly, Karl Meade, and Brendan
O’Malley. Brendan is more like a prodigal son to us who keeps joining us
every now and then and is still very much a part of us. He is in fact our very own
‘Desi Boy’ and we look forward to him joining us again and teaching us how to
eat with bare hands. They have all helped us to become what we are today.
The home country (Ireland) also deserves a
notable mention and we really want to express our gratitude to all the love and
support that they have shown us. They have been very co-operative and have
helped us in every step.
We really
hope the article is taken the way it is meant to be and hope you all enjoy it.
This is just a means of introducing the team to everyone in a jovial manner and
celebrating our anniversary with the rest of the partners. And if we can paraphrase
a quote by Benjamin Disraeli – “We feel a very unusual sensation – if it is not
indigestion, it must be gratitude”.
Thanks
and Regards,
IRFR, Bangalore.
